What is amazing to me is that there are so many women out there who have never experienced an orgasm.
In my calling as the High Priestess of The House of The Goddesses, I talk with a lot of people about their sexual problems. A large number of men complain that their wives don't enjoy sex. A 1972 Playboy Foundation study, during the supposed sexual revolution, reported that only 53% of the women studied were having orgasms 90% of the time they had intercourse. This study covered women who had been married an average of fifteen years, so they had plenty of opportunity for practice -- provided they had willing and able partners. Those statistics are depressing and unfortunate. Being a very sexual woman, I feel compassion for women who are not enjoying the wonderful Goddess-given gift of physical pleasure.
The religion of The Goddess believes that our bodies were given so we could gain physical experience, which includes sexual an sensual pleasures. It is actually a sin to deprive ourselves of sexual pleasures. To reject this gift because religious leaders have made their god into a bodiless, asexual, tyrant and changed the ordinances of the Goddess over the centuries is foolish and unfortunate.
Theologically, it was necessary for the male dominated religions to make their god into a spirit. To acknowledge God as an anthropomorphic being (with human form and attributes) was to acknowledge Him as a sexual being also. It also followed that if man was created in the image and likeness of God, then woman was created in the image and likeness of The Goddess. Those were the beliefs of the religion of The Goddess when Christianity came into existence. The physical nature of the christian god was abolish and he was made male and a spirit. In doing this, men made themselves in the spiritual image and likeness of the new god they had created. Woman then became the inferior being which the Jews had created as being taken from man like cutting a malignant growth from an otherwise perfect body. The physical nature of deity is one of the fundamental differences between the religion of The Goddess and the Judean/Christian/Moslem beliefs. When we say that man was made in the image of God, we mean that in a very literal sense -- all of the parts are there, including the penis. It may shock religious fundamentalists to hear that God has a penis and the Goddess has a vagina, but we believe that spirits are created in the same way that babies are created on earth -- by sexual intercourse -- a God's cock in a Goddess's cunt.
Women who don't enjoy sex have often had strict religious upbringing. They have been taught that sex before marriage is sinful and dirty. It does not take much imagination to see why these same women do not enjoy sex after marriage either. This theological concept worked when the Catholic Church had complete authority over marriage but with the Protestant reformation divorce became common place. No longer do fundamentalist christians preach that divorce is sinful. They would lose half their congregations if they did. Sex to christians becomes as enigmatic as their spirit-god who was resurrected with a physical body. Sex before marriage is still dirty, sinful and devilish; during marriage it is wonderful and god-given; after divorce it is again dirty, sinful and devilish punishable by hell's fire. If sex before marriage is evil, how can that evil nature be changed by marriage, especially when the marriage is performed by a civil magistrate? After all, is murder or stealing evil before marriage and good during marriage? This lack of consistency leads many women to fear sex all of their lives. If a woman should be lured into engaging in sex before marriage, she is ruined. No good man will want her for a wife. Or so she is told. Even with that kind of pressure hanging over a girl's head, over 70% engage in premarital sex. Unfortunately, only 20% of women even enjoy that experience. They are probably so worried about the consequences that they can't concentrate on enjoying themselves.
I had been raised a Catholic and before I went away to college, I thought that a woman was doomed to hell if she enjoyed sex. When I converted to Mormonism, many of those religious hang ups disappeared. But about ten years ago, the Mormon Church condemned oral sex. As a card-carrying Mormon - one who had a temple recommend which permitted me to go to the sacred and secret temple - I had to give up oral sex, because when the Bishop interviewed me, he told me that I could not be having oral sex and be worthy of a temple recommend. Apparently there were too many Mormon women out there enjoying having their pussies eaten by their husbands, and too many Mormon men have their cocks sucked. The number of Mormons who could qualify for temple recommends dropped so drastically that the Mormon Church instituted a new policy of not asking specifically if you were having oral sex. They didn't change their attitude about oral sex, they just dropped asking questions about it. The number of people who could hold temple recommends jumped up. This illustrates the problem many women have in trying to live according to their religions.
When I became a Priestess, all of that changed. But it was not easy. Having good sex takes concentration and effort. It does not just happen. In 1984, when the priesthood of the religion of The Goddess was restored in this country, I still had not had sex with any other man except my husband during our marriage. The first man was handsome and well endowed - well over 9 inches of thick penis. That's measured from the top side of the penis incidentally, not the bottom. From the bottom he would be about 11 inches. I knew that as a priestess I would have to have sex with many different men, and to enjoy them, but emotionally I had hangups. I enjoyed this new experience - the dedication of myself to The Goddess, but it was not full enjoyment. I enjoyed the feel of his huge penis in my vagina. His rhythm was hard, fast and extremely intense, and I loved every moment of it, but when he began to build to orgasm, I couldn't have an orgasm. In fact, I was terrified at the thought of another man cumming inside me. But when it happened, when his hot cum shot inside me, I was excited, but it was far from orgasm.
Over the next few weeks I had sex with many different men, and I enjoyed each of them, and it excited me when they came inside me. It wasn't until I had fucked 25 different men that I was finally able to achieve orgasm with other men. By the time I had been with 100 different men who came cum inside me, I was having as many as 30-50 orgasms a day. My record is 300. I could have had more, but alas the 16 men were all worn out. After I had fucked over 1,000 different men, I was ordained the High Priestess of the religion. (There were many other requirements besides the number of men, but no woman can function as a priestess if she has not had sex with at least 1,000 different men.)
The Church was founded in 1986 after I had been ordained The High Priestess. Since then there have been 10 other priestesses and each has enjoyed sex. They had enjoyed sex before their ordinations, but once they became priestesses they looked forward to having 3-5-7 different men every day. They, like I, just didn't feel fulfilled with only one man a day. I was personally enjoying between 5-10 men a day before our legal problems and hopefully we will be able to return to those times when the courts rule that government can not find religious doctrines to be false
If a girl is worried about whether the guy really loves her, if he will respect her afterwards, if he will tell all his friends, if her girlfriends will hear about it, if her parents will find out, if she is a good lover, if she will get pregnant, if she will go to hell and on and on, then she really can't expect to have a glorious fulfilling experience. Statistics are against her. The Playboy Foundation report stated that more than half of the single women under 25, said their first experience with sexual intercourse was neutral or unpleasant. Only 20% said their first time was very pleasurable.
If you put your hand in a cage to pet a cute furry rat and it bites you, you probably won't put your hand in that cage again. In fact, you might be reluctant to pet any rat. So guys, what I'm making an analogy to is this, if a girl decides to have sex with you and you turn out to be like the rat that bites, all pain and no soft furry pleasure, then she is not going to want to have sex with you again. She may not want to have sex with any other man either. If the sexual experience with you was unrewarding, you may have done your fellow man a great disservice, too, in addition to souring the girl on sex. Unless you're a guy who is just out to get notches on his cock for the number of different girls he's fucked, you will have lost out on what could be a future pleasurable adventures. But even worse, you may be stuck with one of those women that another man has already ruined for sex. It's to your advantage to encourage your female partner to enjoy herself as much as possible. Generally, a woman has to want to have orgasms to have them, though this need not be a conscious desire. You need to give her body all the attention she needs for her to reach fulfillment.
A woman's primary sex organ is her clitoris. But it seems to be a well kept secret. When kids are instructed about the "birds and the bees", they are told how babies are made. A man inserts his penis into a woman's vagina and his sperm unites with her egg to form a baby. That's that. Not many details are filled in --especially on how to make it a pleasurable experience for the woman. It is assumed that the man will enjoy himself automatically because he ejaculates. But that is a false assumption. I've had men tell me their first sexual experiences were not that great either. What sex education needs is more (some) knowledge about how to enjoy sex.
First, we've got to get rid of bad attitudes that oppress us with guilt. I find the clitoris to be a great testimony to the Goddess-given gift of sexual pleasures, the trigger for the whole body to receive pleasure. We would not have been given a specific part of the body devoted solely to pleasure if we were not supposed to enjoy sex.
But as I mentioned, the clitoris is often a well kept secret. Many men think a woman should explode in orgasm just because they shove their cocks in her cunt. It very seldom works that way -- which is why only about half of the women enjoy sexual intercourse and why men have a hard time getting laid. Women aren't put on earth just to service men. If a woman doesn't receive pleasure, there is no incentive for her to participate. That is where communication is important, to find out what works best for your partner. A woman with a lot of experience will know what turns her on and will usually tell you -- if you ask. However, a woman with little or no experience will need a man who will take the time to find what excites her.
Studies have shown that 2/3 of the women studied responded easier to clitoral than vaginal stimulation. Shoving a finger with a dirty, scratchy fingernail up a cunt, will not excite most women. The clit is more sensitive to stimulation than the vagina because the clit has more nerve endings. It is similar in sensitivity to the head of the penis. Just shoving a cock in and out will not bring most women to orgasm. Women desire and need clitoral stimulation. "Doggie style"' which is popular with men, isn't very exciting for most women because it gives little or no clitoral stimulation. The only way I enjoy doggie style is if someone is eating my pussy while a man fucks me.
Men are at their best rhythm and intensity when they are building to orgasm and exploding in orgasm. There is no rule written in stone that a women has to have an orgasms before the man. Yet that is what most sex books preach. Sometimes I get so excited by the man's cumming that it brings me to orgasm. He may get off first, but that doesn't have to be the end of it for the women. Most men are still hard a little while after they ejaculate (depending on their age). If they can just stay in and let the women move herself to her own rhythm it will be a climax that is a great ending. Of course the woman has to be the one who works for her own orgasm in that situation.
I pass this information on to you because for many years I was under the delusion that once a man came, that was it, the end - total frustration for the woman if she hadn't cum yet. Maybe some guys would like to get their rocks off and get out as soon as possible, but a good considerate lover will hang in there, literally. Usually the woman is so excited by his great rhythm in cumming, that she'll be off in a few more strokes. If he isn't up to it, she can have the next guy take up where the last one left off, skipping the now unnecessary foreplay.
Some time ago I read the book, For Yourself: the Fulfillment of Female Sexuality, by Lonnie Garfield Barbach. It was touted as a self-help manual for pre-orgasmic women -- as the author calls them -- women who have not yet experienced orgasm. If you are a woman who hasn't experienced an orgasm or if you know such a woman -- don't bother reading the book. The author recommends masturbation for a woman to learn to have orgasms. That is often the best way as it can be done in calm and privacy with little pressure. However, most religions consider masturbation a sin, so the woman is still burdened with a guilt trip.
The concept of masturbation is good, but the practical application of the author, shows little knowledge of how women function sexually. First, she recommends playing with yourself for a whole hour -- that's an awfully long time. If the clit is not rubbed raw by then, it may be too irritated to produce an orgasm. Every woman should understand that time schedules and formulas don't work. Masturbate because it feels good, not because you read that you should do it. How fast or how slow, how hard or how soft and for how long will depend on how it feels for you -- what stimulates you at the time. And each time is different. A woman may be able to bring herself to orgasm in a few seconds one day and take half an hour the next.
One young girl I know loved the pleasure of masturbating. But she would always stop herself short of orgasm, because she was afraid that she was going to pass out. Once a man took her over the top and she realized what an orgasm was, she found masturbation even more enjoyable, and she could take herself all the way by herself.
After the masturbation exercise, the author suggests partner exercise. I was aghast at her comments. On page 131 she states, "The first partner exercise is simply to concentrate on what's happening in the present when you make love. Do not allow yourself to have an orgasm." Here is a poor woman so desirous and desperate to have an orgasm that she's reading a book to help herself and the author has the audacity and stupidity to say, "do not allow yourself to have an orgasm." What crap. Toss that book into the trash. No wonder women don't enjoy sex. Even the supposed authorities tell them not to enjoy it. The only way to have orgasms is to let yourself go. Learn to enjoy sex by having sex and let yourself enjoy sex. I'm not a masochist at all. Give me pleasure and lots of it,
To be assured of sexual fulfillment and not frustration, a woman needs a good sex partner, someone who is caring, and willing to give pleasure, and especially someone who knows how to use his tongue for something other that talking - Cunnilingus. When it comes to giving women pleasure, cunnilingus puts pleasure at the tip of any man or woman's tongue. The art of eating pussy is the great equalizer.